7 Sinister tips for new fathers: Stop listening to your wife’s wails and your baby’s screeching cries

Little Gubi is with her mom and I am secretly trying to write an article on the balcony with a valid excuse that I am smoking. I am a Civil Engineer with a 9 to 5 job in a Government organization and I must admit I have little time for myself leave apart churning out a blog article everyday which, no doubt, should be the ritual. Don’t get me wrong, I am reading all stuffs on self-improvement, how to manage time and how Google calendar can be a good tool, and lots more.

And on the positive side, I was the one who loved all those yucky dreads associated with raising up a lovely kid. Till then, if you happen to be in a situation as mine, stick to the following hashtags.

7 Sinister Steps For New Fathers

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Seven sinister rituals you oughta follow religiously:

#1. Once the Rooster cocks-a-doodle-do, check your mail ASAP with one conscious eye while the other drowsy one is  still lost in a dream.

#2. Head for the loo if you see movements around. Just a yawn, a stretch of the arm and other suspicious things should sufficiently warn you.

#3. On days if #2 seems irrelevant, Never rush to the safety of the loo. Happily repeat #1 along with the pleasures of liking a few facebook updates or retweeting some tweets from some distand lands. After all, you should be happy that your baby and her mom are definitely getting a sound sleep.

#4. Have my usual dose of breakfast-a bowl of noodles with a hot cup of heavily accented tea or only the later in times when I left home for work at 6 in the morn.

#5. Lunch time, I am usually back by 1:30 and it’s too hot. Your clothes are all over you sucking every drop of water from your dehydrating He-Man of a body. Your kid baby just grins her most beautiful smile and you kind of get a respite. But don’t you think she ought to be sleeping this time? The lunch might have arrived from or might have tasted like the Hyatt Regency but you have little time shoving them down your already dry throat, visiting the loo and a mild washing-up to make the other half of a day worth live-able.

#6. Knock and your baby and her mom welcome you. It’s late and I reach home tired and defeated. You can’t just plan but to stay with your baby, walk with her and stop her from falling, hold her up, give in to her tantrums and when your entire antics halt to a defeating grind, you show up with your wailing baby in your arms to your wife who somehow adorns the look of one of the top-notch Chefs in town. She’ll tell you to give company to your baby for at least another 30 minutes with a subtle look accusingly that you had never been a part of her growing-up. The dinner’s finally cooked and the angry mom is away leading our beautiful baby to a deep slumber.

7 Sinister Steps For New Fathers

Image courtesy of criminalatt / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

#7. You’ve a buffer zone dude till your sweetheart shouts out for dinner. Check out Facebook, Twitter and a half dozen blogs and even try to write a line or two for your next post which never seems to see the light of the day until the whistle screams.

Well, after a hearty meal, it’s time to sleep and dream, and wake up the other day and start with #1 with some minor changes here and there.
Do you have plans more evil than these? Do you think you had already outgrown them? Share your activities and other escapist plans with our readers here. And don’t forget to share this article if you are one of us creepy tribes.

3 Responses to 7 Sinister tips for new fathers: Stop listening to your wife’s wails and your baby’s screeching cries

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